First Dates and How To Get Them

Congratulations! You have signed up for a premium online dating service, created a great dating profile and are ready to begin finding your special someone. Your chances of success are greatly enhanced by your approach to those you want to contact and those who will contact you first.

Put some thought into a cheerful, positive introduction of yourself. It is always best to keep your introduction brief. There is plenty of time later to go into extensive detail about yourself. You should write some general information about yourself. You could include a little about your profession and the things you like to do. You should also briefly explain why you would like to meet the person and why you think you may be a good match. If you have things in common, that would be a great thing to bring to their attention. Everyone likes to be flattered. Mention how beautiful their smile is! Close with an invitation to contact you if they are interested in learning more about you. It would be a good idea to add a reference to what your nickname or user name is. It would be a shame if they have no idea where to find your profile to determine if there is a mutual interest. The nice feature of the online dating sites is that your e-mail's are handled anonymously until such time as you feel comfortable in giving them your regular e-mail address so that they can contact you directly.

Things not to do:
If you are a member of a mainstream dating site, do not mention sex in your introduction. There are alternative dating sites that specialize in singles that are specifically looking for those relationships. However, on a mainstream dating site, it is a huge turnoff and will get you nowhere. Flirting is great, but don't cross the line right off the bat. There is a time and place to broach that subject and it is definitely not in your introduction.

Be realistic in the type of person that may be interested in you. Read their profile carefully. If you don't match a lot of what they are looking for then you may not receive a response. It never hurts to try, but be realistic. If you are a little outside their age or height range for example, go for it.
Some people are extremely picky on the type of person they want to meet. That is ok and they have the right to be, but most likely they will receive much fewer responses and it will take them much longer to find the match they are looking for, if they ever do. So don't take it personally if you don not receive a response. Don't repeatedly contact someone. People lead busy lives. Give them some time to consider your offer. If you do not receive a reply, they are not interested. There is no sense in pleading with them or getting mad and sending them a flaming e-mail. Just go on to another profile that peaks your interest. There is plenty of singles looking for someone just like you.

You're getting replies to some of the singles that you contacted and you are receiving introductions from those who are interested in you. After your initial e-mails, you can go into a little more detail about yourself. This is a good time to ask them to tell you a little more about themselves as well. You could progress into exchanging phone numbers but that is always not necessary as you can continue to correspond by e-mail while you are leading up to a possible meeting. Use caution in giving out such things as your home phone number or address. Some singles wait to give out this information until after they have met for the first time. Unless you are presented with developing a long-distance relationship, you don't need to send endless e-mail's spanning months before meeting. Most people really aren't looking for a "pen pal." They want to meet their potential soul mate in person. You should know after two weeks or 4-6 e-mail exchanges whether or not you would like to them in person. If you seem to like one another, don't be shy, Ask for the date!! 

Going on that first date.
Perhaps you are a seasoned, dating veteran. But many people have been married or otherwise in long-term relationship and have not dated perhaps since the 80's. Whatever category you fall into, dating should not be a nerve racking experience. You don't have to go way overboard with limousines and presents. The secret to planning a first date is to make it short and simple. A perfect first date is an afternoon or a lunch-time date. This will limit the duration of the date appropriately so you don't feel uncomfortable if there is no attraction between the two of you. If you make a great connection you could always extend the date a little longer. A daytime first date does not obligate you to spend any more time that the duration of that is customary for such things as a lunch, coffee, ice cream etc. Save the movies, concerts or anything that would be time intensive for dates 2 through 500. It is also important to meet the person at the agreed location, driving your own vehicle. You do not want to depend on someone else for your safe transportation. Common sense also dictates that you meet in public place.

Keep the date light hearted. For example, everyone has had less than desirable experiences with their ex's. You don't want to spend your precious dating time on relating all those stories in gruesome detail. Obviously you will want to find out some additional information about them. But you don't have to treat your first date as an interrogation. Talk about your mutual interests and some of the other things you related previously in your e-mail's or conversations. You don't have to give your whole life story on the first date. Make sure that conversation flows both ways and dazzle them with your great personality. Besides the physical attraction that may be present between each of you, talk about the things you would like to know about them, that will make you decide whether you want to pursue another date.  Keep your expectations moderate. That way you won't be let down too much if the other person it not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. A nice touch is to send a follow up e-mail after the date thanking the person for their time whether or not you want to date them again. You can't win if you don't play, so get out there and have some fun!

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